Relay for Life

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I can't believe that Doug has been in heaven for almost a year!

April 24th I am participating in a Relay for Life hosted by the American Cancer Society. I have mixed emotions. I want to participate and I want everyone to know what a fighter Doug was but I also know this is going to be harder than I think. Lighting a luminary with his name on it will be so emotional and at the same time I will be a very proud sister. I had never seen so much strength in such a physically weak body. Doug will always be the best brother a sister could ever have. He will always be my hero for living out his testimony in the crappiest circumstances.  

I want to make a difference. I want to raise awareness for cancer in general but specifically for Esophageal Cancer. If you want to make a difference in cancer research or you and your family have been affected by this dreadful disease I urge you to click on the link and consider donating.

Thank you for my friends (who are really family to me) for you contributions already. I love you all dearly!

main.acsevents.org/goto/DougHale


Seeing beauty

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I was in Augusta GA this weekend to photograph a retirement and do some filming for work. To say I wasn't looking forward to it was an understatement. I wanted my weekend for me. To do what I wanted.  

I arrived Saturday afternoon with a few hours to relax before I had to go to the venue for dinner and the retirement program. When I got to my hotel room I opened the door and it was a corner room. One set of windows overlooked the front of the hotel and other side overlooked a beautiful riverwalk. The sun was shining, the air was warm and creation was gorgeous. I didn't come prepared with my Nike running shoes or workout gear but I could not just sit inside and not enjoy the day God created for me. 

I needed this time to clear my head. I couldn't change my circumstances but I had to make the most of it. Something good was going to reveal itself.

I worshiped at The Salvation Army Augusta KROC Center. Major Vick gave a beautiful testimony. It touched my heart. She used the first two verses from Romans 12.

So here's what I want you to do. God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Later Major Street brought the message. He spoke from Revelation 3.  He said, "God has called us to be authentic."

What does God want from you? He wants you be AUTHENTIC.  

 

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

Photo Credit: lauradake

My tragedy will be a mark of God's faithfulness

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"My tragedy - my loss - will not mark my life with sadness. My tragedy will be a mark of God's faithfulness in the storm. I will not carry a cloak of sadness, but my story will be a megaphone for what God can do with a shattered heart. The desert gives way to the harvest. That's what my life will proclaim." - Jill McCloghry 

My beautiful friend saw this posted on the @pcc_thegrove Instagram. This statement really resonates with me. We are approaching the one year anniversary of Doug's death. It is unreal. In some respects time has flown by and on the other hand, time has stood still. 

I think about Doug everyday and I miss him so much! Doug was a living testimony to God's faithfulness. He taught this older sister about relying on God. He is always faithful.

I am sad...some days are so much harder than others but through this journey, (that I'm still on...because it hasn't ended just because Doug went to heaven) I have tried to be transparent. I have written my innermost private feelings about what I've experienced over that last two years, for whoever reads this little space of mine on the web. It can be therapeutic and very vulnerable but maybe these words will resonate with someone on a similar journey.  

The desert gives way to the harvest. We have a hope!

First Anniversary | Osa

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A year ago today our best friend for almost 16 years went to heaven.

The night before, I laid on the floor next to her all night trying to comfort her. She cried all night and so did I. I knew what was going to happen and I didn't want to let her go. That would be cruel and selfish of me. She had been a best friend, so loyal and gave unconditional love! 

I have to say that vet was amazing! The doctors are wonderful and sensitive. The moment was very peaceful and that's what I wanted for her.

Osa is missed in the spaces of this house, in our every day moments and there is a huge void in our hearts! She was bossy, protective, my shadow and such a sweet girl. I miss her so much. 

Last year was a difficult year and this year will be too because it is the year of first anniversaries. 

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First puppy red collar ❤️ 

First puppy red collar ❤️ 

Happy Birthday!

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Forty-four years ago, my brother Doug was born. I remember as my brother was learning to speak that I would answer my mother's questions for my brother. You know, just helping him out. I always wanted to take care of him...make sure he was ok. Our lives were full of crazy times with this guy! 

He was funny and had a smile that would light up a room. A beautiful soul inside and out! 

He was determined, matter of fact and shared his opinion with you whether you wanted it or not. He was passionate. 

He was smart! He could work through a situation and make it happen. He still was proving that to us in the last week of his life. He needed a way to hang a flashlight, even though he didn't need it because we left a light on all the time but in his mind he did and was determined to hang it above his bed with his morphine so he could reach it any time. Bring out the 3M hook, paracord and slip knot so it was adjustable.  

He was brave! Let's be honest, I would not have handled being told I had stage 4 Esophageal cancer the way Doug did. I don't know how he did it. Through the coughing, the pain, the sickness, praying that if one person comes to know Christ it will have been worth it. 

Today, I miss you just as much as I did April 8th, when you left the people who love you on this earth to enter the arms of Jesus. January 19th will always be the day that we received the beautiful gift that was you! Today is your first birthday in heaven and it's probably the best party you ever received. 

I miss you baby brother and I love you so much!!

 

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Choosing Grace

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I'm reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts Devotional book. The subtitle says reflections on finding everyday graces. 

“His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory”
— 1 Corinthians 2:7 NEB

She talks about her sister, who died at a very young age. We often ask, how can God allow these terrible things to happen when he is a good God. Why do parents have to bury their children, why marriages implode, and dreams crushed. Where is grace when cancer gnaws and loneliness aches?

But from the beginning, that moment in the garden, God had a different purpose for us...to return us to our full glory. I love when she says when we open the bible, His plans are there...right before our very eyes. "His love letter silences any doubts. He means to rename us." Why would he do that for us? We are unworthy!

“He means to heal our soul holes.”
— Ann Voskamp

Grace means "favor," from the Latin gratia. A free and ready favor. It's one thing to accept the grace offered at the cross but another to choose to live and accept His grace in our daily living. It's a choice.

It's only a few weeks into the new year and "grace" is a recurring theme. I was touched by this devotional.

It's hard to see that Doug's death could be Your plan for our lives. It makes no sense that a wife has to lose her husband and the hopes and dreams they had are shattered. Why parents have to pray to You to take their child because they can't stand to watch him suffer in excruciating pain. Why a sister, who loved her baby brother so much, has to become an only child. Why one of your children had to suffer that much. Then I realize how much your suffered for us...for me. Unworthy!

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And yet you offer GRACE! People were touched by Doug's life and because of his testimony, lives were brought into relationship with you. In Doug's words, "it's all worth it." He isn't suffering anymore. He is healed. He lives with you! Isn't that what we all want?

Thank you that even in the hard days, you have it under control. Help me to have the faith and to accept the GRACE you want me to accept.

GRATIA 

Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade 2015

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Being part of the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, CA was an awesome experience. I didn't march but have definitely added it to my bucket list. I was the photographer for The Salvation Army band. The Salvation Army is celebrating it's 150 anniversary. I believe it is one of four bands that participate every year.

The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical part of the universal church. It's message is based on the bible. It's ministry is motivated by the love of God. It's mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination. 

I was very proud to be a part of The Salvation Army. To see my husband, nephew and friends march down Colorado Blvd. playing Stand up for Jesus. To see the crowd display their thanks and appreciation for the work that The Salvation Army provides in communities across this nation and beyond.

Truly grateful for the opportunities that we have to experience moments like this. They will last a lifetime!

All photography is owned by Laura Dake