Reading devotions this morning I came across this passage in my brother's bible. I went back to notes of encouragement from friends when we received his diagnosis.
We believe the promises of God. I will see God's goodness on this earth. I will be strong and courageous. I will not be overwhelmed and I will wait for the Lord!
I don't have adequate words today to describe the emotions that fill my heart. It seems we are in the last hours or day of what would be Doug's earthly stay on this earth. God is preparing Doug's new home.
I said to a friend today, as stubborn as Doug has been to Nurse Pam about what he wanted or didn't want, she started to tear up. He has touched so many peoples lives. He will never know. My friend said, "He is a living testimony and will always be remembered for his strength and his faith and his stubbornness." She said she believed it's that stubbornness has in fact renewed my faith. And that because of that, my change has touched other people too, especially her.
She also said that soon Doug will be an angel. In my eyes, he already is.
The Hospice Chaplin came today to offer prayer and she read John 16:33 to Doug.
It made me think of the Jeremy Camp song, Overcome. I've actually been singing it for weeks now.
Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only Son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did
Every victory is Yours
Every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame
Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
It's amazing how everything has changed so drastically in just a few weeks. I sit here and watch. I am disturbed. Sickened. Heart broken. This disease is debilitating, life changing and life taking.
I heard him say today that the glass of water sitting by his bed looked so good. He wondered why he couldn't drink and swallow anymore. Think about it...swallow. How easy was that?
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I'm trying to keep it together. I don't want to add any concern to his heart. But wow...this is stretching me. I love this boy so much! I know he belongs to Jesus. I don't want him to suffer with this excruciating pain but I'm also not ready for God's plan to come to fruition. We pray for peace.
John's reminder that Jesus is our thirst quencher.
Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst-not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life. -John 4:14
I opened Facebook this morning and my friend, Wendy had posted a picture of this verse from Isaiah as encouragement.
With everything that has been going on in our life, there are days when I feel the waters are at flood stage. The water is up around my ears, it gets harder and harder to breathe, panic sets in and soon you have lost control.
Even though I have these feelings, I am reminded in God's word, that He promises that He will be with me and I will not drown.
photo: laurajdake | stone mountain