Clean

We are in the Lenten season. This season is a very emotional time for me. Easter has been that way for me for a long time. It's emotional because of the sacrifice of God's own Son...for me! Me, who has not fully trusted Him enough or loved Him enough or lived a life worthy of His love...He still did it for me. I fail Him constantly and He loves and he pursues me.

This time of year is a difficult time for me personally when it comes to loss. Three years ago this week our dog, Osa died. Our "fur baby" that we loved for almost 16 years who loved us unconditionally. Three years ago this April my brother went to be with the Lord. Time goes on but the places that Doug filled in my life are still empty. One year ago my beloved grandmother met Jesus. A God she served for almost 99 years.That is a lot of loss but there is a hope! God prepared a place for us. That is the comforting part of the loss. I know they are in heaven. 

A few weeks ago my friends daughter (who I love very much) sang a solo in church. I wasn't there that weekend and as my husband and I were driving home, we replayed the FaceBook video. I couldn't see the video through the tears. First, because this young lady was singing out. Not holding back. Her voice was clear and beautiful. Second was because of the lyric. 

There's nothing too dirty
that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.
Clean, Natalie Grant

These are powerful words. I am valued by God. He washes me in mercy and gives me the gift of grace. The God of the universe who created me, loves me more than I can comprehend. 

Two years?

Where has the time gone? Two years, how can that be?  

There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. The other day I was thinking about you and then reality hit me that I will never see you in the flesh again. You aren't just a phone call away. 

The legacy of your life lives on through the people that love you. You were a living testimony and I talk about you to people and I share your testimony.  

Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotions. There will be sadness because we miss you so much. There is also rejoicing because two years ago you met Jesus. Face to face. What could be better than that? 

April 8 is a significant day in the Dake house. We are bringing our German shepherd puppy, Luger home after two years of Osa has being gone. We will be together getting to know our pup and reminiscing about you. There was never a dull moment with you. We are better people because of having you in our lives so there will be tears and laughter.

I miss you Doug! I am so lucky to have had you as my brother. You were simply the best! 

Photo credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler

Photo credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler

Quiet Moments

It's the weekend and the weather is going to be above average on this December day. The warmth in the air and the sunshine on my face does this body good.

This morning in the quietness, before I turn on the tv and get ready for my day, I am gazing at my decorated mantel and my tiny real life Christmas tree. There is something about Christmas, maybe more so than any other holiday, that makes you long to be with family.

As I look at my mantel, the stockings are hung with care. We have people and fur babies that are no longer with us. As I was getting the decorations out of their boxes I just couldn't bring myself to not hang those stockings that are engraved with Doug and Osa's names on them. They belong to us. Family. People we love. Loved ones we will never forget.

So as painful as that may be, it also brings to mind memories and the promise of Jesus. The hope in that baby born on Christmas Day. A gift for us from God the Father.  

Photo credit: laurajdake

Photo credit: laurajdake

Photo credit: laurajdake

Photo credit: laurajdake