Birds singing and sunshine

It's a holiday. Memorial Day. A time to reflect on our soldiers that give of themselves for our country. It also means a day off which for me at this point in my journey I need.


I'm sitting outside on the patio enjoying the sunshine on my skin and listening to the birds sing their songs. I'm thinking about my parents and hope they have a safe trip home from Savannah. I'm thinking about Melissa. Thinking about how her journey has changed and how that looks going forward. Last night was the last night she slept at her house. The one Doug and her shared. The place they started their life. Moving is one more stepping stone. 

I think about Doug. Constantly. Always on my mind. How even now the tears flow so easy and fast. I hear the birds sing. I think about how much more God the father loves his children. Me. I think about Doug singing with the angels. He is in heaven with Jesus. He is not in pain or suffering anymore. It's not the case for us who loved him. My heart and head hurts every day. The void that is left is a huge crater. How will those places ever be filled again?

This day I will choose to be grateful that Doug IS in heaven. Perfect. I'm grateful for the 43 years I was able to love him and call him brother.  Today I choose joy!

I love you sweet boy!