For Good...

in

We went to NJ and NYC for the weekend for a wedding of very good friends. I should say family! Sunday was a free day. We took advantage of being near NYC so we went to the Gershwin Theatre to watch Wicked...on Broadway! It was so good, amazing seats and great company. There is something about watching a show on Broadway. 

Have you ever seen Wicked? This is the precursor to the story of the Wizard of Oz. One of my favorite songs is called For Good. It is a farewell song between Glinda (the good witch) and Elphaba (the wicked witch of the west.) I sat there in the theatre with tears streaming down my cheeks. I have been thinking about Doug. It has been a year and 5 months. Hardly believable! The words struck a chord in my heart. Especially the second verse. 

I've heard it said, that people come into our lives
for a reason bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them.
And we help them in return.

Like a comet pulled from orbit, As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.

It well may be, that we will never meet again
In this lifetime so, let me say before we part,
So much of me is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you...I have been changed for good.

This person. My brother. My friend taught me so much especially the last few years of his young life. He especially taught me how important faith is. That our hope lies in Our Father Jesus who created us in his image. I will never forget my brother telling me we need to pray for peace and I told him I wasn't at peace. I was upset with God for wanting him more than I did. In that moment Doug prayed for me. 

My heart is forever marked by Doug's handprint BUT more important is the mark on my heart from God's own hand.  

Photo Credit: lauradakeNew York Skyline | Eagle Rock Reservation 9-11 Memorial

Photo Credit: lauradake
New York Skyline | Eagle Rock Reservation 9-11 Memorial

Always Hope

in

I love when I open the vrsly app to see what the word or phrase of the day is and it's the word hope. 

I claim it everyday.

I'm not talking about hoping to get everything on my Wishlist that's a mile long, or hoping for the perfect job or hoping my dreams of travel to here or there come true, or hoping I get the best shot that gets me lots of likes on Instagram.  Even when I hoped and prayed he would get better...I hoped God would answer my prayer. Selfishly. 

When people disappoint, when you don't have the finances, when the flesh fails and there's nothing left, we have hope in a living Jesus, who calms our spirit and gives us courage to face whatever challenge.

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Jesus always takes care of us.

Provides.

Loves.

He answers our prayers. His timing is perfect and when we get to Heaven all the pieces will fit together.

#NationalDogDay

in

It has been a year and half since our girl went to "doggie heaven." We miss her so much and on a day that is "nationally" set aside for our four legged babies, how could I not think of Osa. I love how dogs infiltrate you life and heart. You will always be in my heart Osa and I will never forget how you affected my life. 

Photo Credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler 

Photo Credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler 

The Giving Keys...HOPE

in

The Giving Keys is such a cool concept. You wear and embrace the words on these keys and then when the time is right you pay it forward to someone who needs the message more than you.

My key says HOPE. It is a word we embraced as a family during Doug's journey with cancer. It was a long journey but Doug said if one person came to know Christ through his experience than it would have been worth the journey. God healed Doug, not the way we wanted. We wanted to experience much more life making so many more memories. We love and miss him so much and there is a void left that can't be filled by anyone else, but God healed Doug...perfectly healed!

Doug lives in heaven with Jesus today and I have a hope...we all have a HOPE! One day, I too will live with Jesus, perfectly healed from my own imperfections!

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Relay for Life

in

I think about you everyday Doug. You are loved and missed. The one thing you wanted to come of this journey was for people to know Christ. You have touched more lives than you could've ever known. You have profoundly changed my life.  

Last Friday we participated in a relay for life in memory of Doug. My friends, the Farrell's came and hung out with my parents and me at Lilburn Park. It was a beautiful evening with friends as well as the weather.  

I didn't know what to expect when I signed up for a team. In honor and memory of Doug. Team Dougie Fresh. His friends called him that. Some of his family and certain friends [i.e.  John Zanders] call him Dougie. The name that carried over from childhood. I call him my brother and friend.

This relay was on a smaller scale unlike the event being held at the Gwinnett County Fairgrounds in the next couple of weeks. It was very nice for our first experience. We talked. We laughed. We walked. We shed a few tears thinking abouth this man, this gift from God that we had for 43 years. A son. Brother. Husband. Grandson. Nephew. Friend.

As the luminaries we being placed around the track, my loving "pop" as Doug would call dad, walked around the track to find Doug's luminary. He found it! We took photos of this memory. As the night skies became dark, a bag piper played as everyone who participated walked around the track holding a lit candle. The path was lit by luminaries for survivors, for those who are currently suffering with this evil disease we call CANCER and those who have gone on to a better place we know as heaven. It was a beautiful moment.  

Thank you to all my that helped me achieve my goal. We surpassed it! 

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#GiftingGrace

in

Last week I was on Instagram and I came across a photo in my news feed from @ShutterSisters They were starting a new project #GiftingGrace inspired by the authentic and abundant beauty of Bella Grace Magazine. The idea is sharing and dedicating your own grace inspired photos with a community of people you want to encourage and inspire. All you have to do is tag your post, dedicate, tag and share.  

 This is easy! It is the anniversary week of my brother's entry into heaven. I could choose any photo of him. His story is profound and has touched so many. As I was looking through my gallery of photos, I cam across this one of my grandmother who just celebrated her 98th birthday. The matriarch of our family. This woman who loves Jesus. A woman who prays for us. A woman who will hug you harder than anyone I know (Except for my dad. I guess that's where he gets it from. :) ) She is amazing!

This photograph was taken after the celebration of life service for Doug. Her grandson, 43 years old. My aunt drove from Wisconsin to Ohio to pick up grandma and drove to Virginia so that she could be there to celebrate with us. She has outlived her husband, her two daughters and her grandson. I love this woman and I wanted to celebrate her.

Grandma and Me

Later that day, Shutter Sisters send me a note congratulating me on winning a copy of BellaGrace Magazine and my image is featured on the Shutter Sisters website. They said my image was gorgeous and thanked me for for #GiftingGrace.

I was pretty excited and in honor of a wonderful lady. My grandmother. 

Love you Gram!

A year already?

in

April 8, 2014. 1:28am.

I can't believe that Doug has been in heaven for a year! It is insane to think that is possible. A year ago my family sat around my brother's bed, trying to make him comfortable, we laughed, we cried, we had "sleep overs", we joked, we played music, and we prayed. 

It's interesting how your prayers change from, God we beg you for a miracle, for a healing to take place to God take this child because his pain has consumed every part of his physical being.

Some people tell me it will get easier and thinking about him every day will become less painful as the years go by. It is true that this day last year I could not comprehend that I would be where I am today but I have thought about Doug in some way or another, every day! Sometimes it is in the form of laughter. Some through tears! Sadness. Happiness. Thankful that I had 43 years with this soul but the pain is still there. Sometimes it doesn't seem real. But it is SO real. 

Sometimes it is the smallest things that will trigger a memory. I was in Target the other day and at the end of an isle there was a display of small fans. I immediately texted Melissa a picture. Melissa purchased this fan for my brother to keep on the table next to his bed. The air circulating on his face helped keep his breathing under control. The fan was a part of his collection of things he had near him like his flashlight and lip balm. :)

I am most grateful for Doug's testimony and his love for Jesus. The little brother of this big sister prayed for me to be at peace when I wasn't. Prayed for me to not be angry with God. There was a time when Doug was very far away from the love of God. Thank God he was the one not far from Doug. Because of Doug's surrender he lives in heaven today with Jesus. 

Thank you to our faithful family and friends that prayed Doug would see Jesus for who he was. Faithful. Loving. Generous. Forgiving. And...Healer. Not necessarily the way I wanted him to be healed but in God's perfect healing and timing.

I miss you Doug just as much today as the day you left us here on earth. The day you were healed and made perfect. I will never let your memory fade away. I promise! 

April 24, 2015 we are participating in a relay for life at Lilburn Park at 5:00pm. If you would like to contribute to cancer research in honor/memory of Doug, please click on the link to donate. main.acsevents.org/goto/DougHale