Birthdays and Time

in

This is my last year in this decade. How did it come so fast? Three years ago...THREE, I spent the week with my brother and sister-in-law. My brother's health had deteriorated quite rapidly since I had seen him the Christmas before. My parents had been staying for weeks at a time but the week of my birthday it was me that was going to help him while Melissa went to work. 

We spent precious moments in that little apartment. Quite moments. I watched him constantly. Staring at his chest while he slept. I was afraid that I might not see his chest going up and down. I watched him struggle to do easy tasks. Things that you don't even think about. Do you think about moving your leg before you start walking? I don't. I just start walking. He couldn't do any of it. He would get frustrated and I tried to be the voice of patience. Which quite frankly is hilarious. I am the least patient person. 

Because he would get frustrated, we had a pact. We would be patient with each other. Beautiful moments spent together! Being there with him was the greatest gift. 

Time though...it doesn't stand still. It is always in a constant forward motion.

There is a song from the musical Wicked that when I here it, tears usually well up in my eyes. It's called For Good. Because I knew Doug and was fortunate enough to love him and be loved by him, I have been changed for the better. The struggle was real and painful but anyone who knew him was changed for the better. He lived out his testimony and because he had a relationship with Jesus, he lives in Heaven today and for always!

It's weird to think I am almost in the next decade. I don't feel old. I guess it's just a number. I cherish my friendship and relationships of those people I get to do life with.

The note Melissa left for me on the bathroom mirror on my birthday.

The note Melissa left for me on the bathroom mirror on my birthday.

For Good
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Clean

in ,

We are in the Lenten season. This season is a very emotional time for me. Easter has been that way for me for a long time. It's emotional because of the sacrifice of God's own Son...for me! Me, who has not fully trusted Him enough or loved Him enough or lived a life worthy of His love...He still did it for me. I fail Him constantly and He loves and he pursues me.

This time of year is a difficult time for me personally when it comes to loss. Three years ago this week our dog, Osa died. Our "fur baby" that we loved for almost 16 years who loved us unconditionally. Three years ago this April my brother went to be with the Lord. Time goes on but the places that Doug filled in my life are still empty. One year ago my beloved grandmother met Jesus. A God she served for almost 99 years.That is a lot of loss but there is a hope! God prepared a place for us. That is the comforting part of the loss. I know they are in heaven. 

A few weeks ago my friends daughter (who I love very much) sang a solo in church. I wasn't there that weekend and as my husband and I were driving home, we replayed the FaceBook video. I couldn't see the video through the tears. First, because this young lady was singing out. Not holding back. Her voice was clear and beautiful. Second was because of the lyric. 

There's nothing too dirty
that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.
Clean, Natalie Grant

These are powerful words. I am valued by God. He washes me in mercy and gives me the gift of grace. The God of the universe who created me, loves me more than I can comprehend. 

Page 20-36 of 365

in

I have posted a photo every day for the last 36 days. I haven't always been good about putting them up on my blog. Sometimes there isn't really a story to write about. Sometimes I take a certain photo because I'm participating in a photo challenge, sometimes it's something I have seen or experienced.

Here is a collection of photos from the last week or so.

Page 19 of 365

in , ,

Today is your birthday. Your earthly birthday. The day God chose for you to be gifted to us. We had 43 years celebrating you! Loving you in a very tangible way. With a hug. A kiss. Laughter that was so contagious! A passionate, opinionated, caring individual. God chose 43 years was all that we would have. He didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted you home and so now you celebrate your second birthday in heaven with Him and the people who we love that have also gone on to heaven.

There are days that seem still so unreal that you aren't here. I can't call you to hear your voice. To tell you how much I love you! To tell you that you are the best baby brother a sister could ever have. You are missed more than I have words to express but I have memories that will never be taken away from me. Even near the end, I can recall things that you said and did that make me laugh out loud. I love Doug! Forever in my heart!

Pages 11-13 of 365

in

I did post these photos to my instagram but didn't post to my little space on the internet.

Page 11 | I had to get my wedding band repaired, a little diamond replaced and the prongs fixed. I finally received them and they look brand new!

Page 12 | I love a good Vera Bradley sale!

Page 13 | Springtime in January. Sunroof views!

Page 10 of 365

in ,

Going to DWTS Live Tour seems to be a yearly event that my mom and I do. We have seen Dancing With the Stars on tour twice and Maks and Val Tour last spring. We watch on TV during the season and it is a fun event to see them live. It is a beautiful evening spent with my mom. I love her, btw!

This year it was at the Fox Theatre instead of Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre. We sat near the front of the first balcony so this year I brought my professional camera instead of relying on my iPhone. I was really pleased at how this photos came out.