One Month

One month. Four weeks.

Unbelievable. Overwhelming. Unreal. Tears streaming.

There isn't a day that goes by where I haven't mentioned your name. Talked about you. Thought of you. Missed you any less than the day before. Shed tears because of the void that is left in my life.

I need you. I need your voice of reason. Your encouragement.

I would give anything to go back in time. To have you back in the physical. To understand why God took you from us.

I looked at a picture of you and me in December. You just came home from the hospital after rupturing the site where the tumor was. I couldn't believe how different you looked from the last time I saw you in September.

In September you wouldn't have known you were sick.  You had meat on your bones. So handsome. That smile that would light up any room. So full of life.

  September 2013

September 2013

When I saw you in December, it was the first time I thought about how sick you really were. You had lost a lot of weight and you were bald. You actually looked like what people call a "cancer patient." I remember being afraid of what our reality was.

I look at this picture from December and I think about how good you really did look, how full your face was and how you exuded life in the physical compared to your final days. One thing that never changed was your faith in your Heavenly Father. You exuded life to the very end.

  December 2013

December 2013

I miss you baby brother! Life will never be the same. People's lives have been and are being changed because of your life and  your testimony that still lives on.

I love spring. The air is warm, the breeze is so sweet on the face and the birds sing so loudly in the morning. When you were confined to the bed we would tell you the birds are singing songs for you. When I hear the birds sing their songs, I always think about you and take it as sign that you are communicating with me.

I love you Doug!

 

  April 2014

April 2014